A Usable Backyard

We hung in there with our nonfunctional backyard for the past 5 summers that we've lived here, but are excited that we finally have a usable space.  We started with 5 or 6 huge trash trees when we moved in, and even though we took those out within a year of living here, it's taken since then to finally kill the stumps, have the stumps dug out, dig out a buried cinderblock wall that ran the length of our yard, and finally level it this spring and seed some grass.

This is what it looked like 5 years ago when we started taking trees down.  I really felt like I was approaching the haunted forest every time I came home.

 We have more plans for it in the future, but for now I'm just thrilled that I kept the grass alive and got a fairly large garden going.  We attempted to put raspberries in, but unfortunately all 18 of the starts we got from Tom and Nancy died (sorry!).  Maybe they'll forgive us enough to let us get more starts next year.  :)

Here it is after the first mowing: 

Potty Training...Take 67

Ok, so we're not really on round 67 of potty training, but that's what's it's felt like during the last couple of months.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, it really feels like we're playing the potty training version of whack-a-mole, where as soon as we get one child fairly stable in the potty department, another one starts to have a harder time for a bit.  There was even the first day where neither of our younger kids had any accidents, and the cat got sick and barfed all over the house, so I still had to do clean up.

I don't think our kids have necessarily had a harder time with potty training than is typical.  We just didn't have any experience with it, and then all of a sudden we had two kids to potty train, so it's been a learning curve (times two) for all of us.  But progress is being made, so I really can't complain.  Here are a couple photo gems documenting the experience:


Doing chores in underwear:

Ok, so not the most flattering photo of me, but yes, that is me, a kid, and poo on the shower floor.

All the kids with umbrellas that they earned.  Kate and Yeb earned them by completing potty charts, and Tam earned his by memorizing the 25 kindergarten sight words.  This is the day that all 3 of them had finally earned them, and they decided to have an umbrella parade outside.

Zoo Trip

With the weather so nice so early this year, we were able to get to the zoo in February without freezing.    The last time we went was last summer, but the kids still remembered and were excited to see the animals again (and ride the carousel.  Let's be honest, that was one of their top 3 things to do).  We ate lunch right when we got there, and then enjoyed spending a couple hours meandering through the exhibits before heading home.
 

Am I the only person who thinks that this picture is creepy??  Because I do.

5 Little Monkeys

Here's a preschool gem of a song sung by one of the cutest, smartest 4 year olds that I know:

Bowling in Blanding

Who knew that Blanding had a bowling alley?!  Apparently they do now, inside one of the gas stations.  That sounds really weird, but it's nice, and when we were in Blanding in February Granna and Grandad treated us to a game.  None of our kids had ever bowled before other than during primary singing time during church, so they were pretty excited.

Valentine Daddy Daughter Dance

Kate brought a flier home from preschool advertising a daddy-daughter valentines dance being held at the high school, and Kerry and I decided that Kate would have a blast.  She looked forward to it all week leading up to it, and was super excited to pick out which dress she wanted to wear and get all ready.  

By the time Kerry and Kate were ready to leave the house, she was bubbly and positively beaming.  Kerry said that the dance was packed with little girls and their dads (it was a fundraiser for the high school cheerleaders, best idea ever).  Kate is quite the dancer in general, but even Kerry was amazed at her enthusiasm.  She danced nonstop for almost 2 hours before Kerry could convince her to take a break and get a cookie and some water.  Fortunately, Kerry was in his element, and was more than happy to check any self-consciousness at the door and crazily dance the night away with Kate.  

The report I got from Kate was that "Daddy and I danced a lot, and we did the 'What Does the Fox Say', and I twirled a lot, and we ate cookies, and the music was loud, and there were lots of lights".   When they came home that evening Kate wanted to tell me all about it, and was already looking forward to next year when they can go again.

Growing Plants and Kids

We've done a garden in our backyard during the past few summers, but this winter/early spring is the first time I've been anticipating it.  It feels a bit like an emotional investment, or emotional outlet, or something like that, in a way that it never has before, and in a way that I need with our current family life.

 My anticipation for the gardening season has led me to not only list out the type and number of plants that I want in the garden this year, but I've also measured the exact square footage of the backyard, plotted out where I want the garden to be this year, and even used hand-drawn graph paper to start mapping out exactly how much will fit where.  Well, I actually did two versions of this, just in case we haven't made progress with leveling the yard like we're hoping to.

I think part of this near-obsession stems from my life feeling a bit claustrophobic right now.  I think that we're in large part past the most intense adjustment period with the boys, but even though we're able to get out as a family and participate in life in fairly normal ways, the fog that has been the last year of our family's life has left me not knowing really what I like to do by myself.  Doing anything by myself or for myself beyond exercising hasn't been much of an option up till now.  And when faced with pinpointing things that I love to do and would like to start doing again, I feel kind of panicky when I realize that I no longer know what I like to do.  And then I panic because I really do want to have personal interests and hobbies, and if I can't think of any,  perhaps being a mother of three with a hard year behind me has leached out my individuality and replaced it with someone who is less "me" and more of "someone's mom".

Another probable cause is that a garden is a whole lot simpler to take care of than children are, and the results are a whole lot more immediate.  Plant, water, weed, let it do it's thing, and in a few months you have the desired results.  As tedious as I always thought a garden was, plants mostly do their thing by themselves, and compared to the timeline of raising kids, a garden is practically a cakewalk.  Last summer I could count on the garden to be reliable when not much else in our lives were, and I would just pray as I watered the garden that we were somehow making as much progress in attachment and all the adjustment that was going on in our family as I was in keeping the plants growing.

Now, a few months later, I can see that there really has been progress, but there's still so much to do.  We're tired.  And the progress we hope we're making each day usually isn't visible for quite a while.  Instead of being able to see the immediate results of yanking a weed so that plants can grow, the weeds are deeply rooted in our children and can't be so easily pulled.  Instead, we have to try to give them the love and attention they need so that they can move past the challenges they are currently dealing with.

And so I'm looking forward to planting a garden, where I can have a place to put a little of my energy toward something that can show immediate results to help balance out the longer-term emotional investments I'm putting into my kids.