Growing Plants and Kids

We've done a garden in our backyard during the past few summers, but this winter/early spring is the first time I've been anticipating it.  It feels a bit like an emotional investment, or emotional outlet, or something like that, in a way that it never has before, and in a way that I need with our current family life.

 My anticipation for the gardening season has led me to not only list out the type and number of plants that I want in the garden this year, but I've also measured the exact square footage of the backyard, plotted out where I want the garden to be this year, and even used hand-drawn graph paper to start mapping out exactly how much will fit where.  Well, I actually did two versions of this, just in case we haven't made progress with leveling the yard like we're hoping to.

I think part of this near-obsession stems from my life feeling a bit claustrophobic right now.  I think that we're in large part past the most intense adjustment period with the boys, but even though we're able to get out as a family and participate in life in fairly normal ways, the fog that has been the last year of our family's life has left me not knowing really what I like to do by myself.  Doing anything by myself or for myself beyond exercising hasn't been much of an option up till now.  And when faced with pinpointing things that I love to do and would like to start doing again, I feel kind of panicky when I realize that I no longer know what I like to do.  And then I panic because I really do want to have personal interests and hobbies, and if I can't think of any,  perhaps being a mother of three with a hard year behind me has leached out my individuality and replaced it with someone who is less "me" and more of "someone's mom".

Another probable cause is that a garden is a whole lot simpler to take care of than children are, and the results are a whole lot more immediate.  Plant, water, weed, let it do it's thing, and in a few months you have the desired results.  As tedious as I always thought a garden was, plants mostly do their thing by themselves, and compared to the timeline of raising kids, a garden is practically a cakewalk.  Last summer I could count on the garden to be reliable when not much else in our lives were, and I would just pray as I watered the garden that we were somehow making as much progress in attachment and all the adjustment that was going on in our family as I was in keeping the plants growing.

Now, a few months later, I can see that there really has been progress, but there's still so much to do.  We're tired.  And the progress we hope we're making each day usually isn't visible for quite a while.  Instead of being able to see the immediate results of yanking a weed so that plants can grow, the weeds are deeply rooted in our children and can't be so easily pulled.  Instead, we have to try to give them the love and attention they need so that they can move past the challenges they are currently dealing with.

And so I'm looking forward to planting a garden, where I can have a place to put a little of my energy toward something that can show immediate results to help balance out the longer-term emotional investments I'm putting into my kids.

Holidays Grim

You know the telephone game where something is said from one person to another and the end result is unintelligible?  That's exactly what happened when Tam learned Christmas songs at school for the kindergarten holiday program, then came home and taught them to Kate and Yeb.  

It was fun to go to the kindergarten program and hear was all the songs actually say.  The actual version of this song says (I think) Holiday Christmas, or maybe Holiday Traditions, or something like that.  Who knows?  We only sing "Holidays Grim" at our house.  

Tam Turned 6!

Tam looked forward to his birthday for months.  He waited patiently (for the most part) through the other two kids' birthdays, so he was pretty hyped up to FINALLY celebrate his own.  We decided to keep it as low key as possible, because the last thing Tam needed on a really exciting day was even more excitement he didn't know how to deal with.  As it was, it was a very rough morning, but he had a great afternoon, enjoyed all the attention at kindergarten, and was pumped to have his little party that evening.  

Tam got a birthday crown from school, and Kate decided to make one for everyone else.

He chose macaroni and cheese for his birthday dinner, and then Grandma and Grandpa came over for cake, ice cream and presents.  It was really fun for him to be the center of attention and to enjoy all the birthday festivities.  The next morning he wanted me to explain in detail exactly when his next birthday would happen.

His new favorite line to use when explaining why he can/is allowed to do something is now "Because I six."

First Swim

We went to Kerry's sister and brother-in-law's house in Huntington to celebrate New Years, and while we were there Tom's parents invited us to come swim in their pool.  Even though the boys came home last spring with plenty of pool season to enjoy, we spent the whole summer ridding them of giardia.  I'm guessing that all the chemicals in pools would have probably taken care of any danger of it spreading to other people, but....ick.  So the boys still hadn't been in a pool.  Come to think of it, they've only been in a bathtub twice, both times at Tom and Nancy's house, because we only have showers at our house. 

End result: they now think of Tom and Nancy's as the coolest place ever, and they still had the awesome kid confidence that since they knew what swimming was, they would surely be master swimmers.

We headed over to the pool, got the kids and Kerry all in swim suits, and had to keep a VERY close eye on the boys because they had no concept of the danger the pool could be.  They were seriously trying to just jump in.  After getting life jackets and floaties on everyone and going over basic safety, they were ready to try it out!

This shows a little of the excitement Yeb had.  And me at the end yelling for Kerry to grab a kid?  That also happened repeatedly. :)

It was absolutely hilarious.  Seriously.  I think that it made up for about a month's worth of tantrums to see them swim for the first time.  Yeb just flailed around, yelled in excitement and was continually thrilled by the water splashing on his face, Tam had the initial flail and then started watching the older kids to copy, and Kate calmly paddled around all the mayhem.  

 After swimming for a bit, Kate was still paddling calmly, Yeb had retired to the steps to play with some water toys, and Tam had swallowed enough water to make himself throw up, which ended the pool play date.

I'm excited to take our whole family swimming this summer, and to get Tam and Kate in swim lessons!

I Heart Kearns (for the most part)

Our little house - funnily enough, one of the window panes in the front window was recently broken by the kids, which makes it all the more Kearns :)

We have lived in our house for 5 years!  This might not sound like that big of a deal if you've lived in the same house for many years, but it is definitely a milestone for us.  The longest we lived anywhere else was in Logan for 2 1/2 years while we were going to school.  So when we bought our house we told ourselves that we were going to be here for 5ish years (because that seemed like an eternity) and then probably move.

Now that the 5 years are up, it's pretty obvious that we're not going anywhere anytime soon.  Between adoption debt (almost finished with it!) and just how much we are willing to pay for housing, it's not in our financial best interest to leave.  But besides that, the area has definitely grown on me.  Don't get me wrong - there are still plenty of things that irk me about where we live, but they don't bug me as much as they used to.   Or maybe I'm just emotionally investing myself for the long-term since that's what it looks like it will be.  Either way, for the past few months I've been mentally tallying the pros of living where we do.  And as I've been seeing the good, it's pretty evident that Heavenly Father put us exactly where our family needed to be.  Who knows what will happen in the future and where we might go, but  right now I'm seeing the huge blessings our little family has been given by living here.

So here are some of the specific things I appreciate about our quirky neighborhood, in no specific order:


Proximity:
Our house is right across the street from the elementary.  As a one car family, this has become a can't-do-without.  And with the school right there, our street is one of the first to get plowed during the winter.  Next to the school is a park where we spent what seemed like half our waking hours during the summer, and the church is around the corner from the park.
The library is within walking/kids biking distance during good weather, so that has been our twice a week outing.

School:
The elementary staff has A LOT of experience teaching kids whose second language is English.  The ESL program is well established, and Tam tested into it and began receiving services within a week of being enrolled in school.  Because of the economics of the area, our school is a Title I school so the preschool is free(!), and just across the street at the school.  I don't think we would have been able to swing preschool this year if it wasn't at our elementary, just because of the transportation dilemma of one car.

Racial and Cultural Diversity:
I don't know the exact numbers for our entire neighborhood, but the school enrollment lists only 30% of the student population as white.  The racial and cultural diversity is obvious by the stores and restaurants, and by the churches in the immediate area.  The churches are what I noticed the most when we first moved in.  Within a mile radius there are not only multiple LDS congregations (in English and Samoan), but a Samoan Methodist Church, a Catholic church with services in English, Spanish, and Vietnamese, and a Baptist church with services in English and Spanish.  The LDS ward that we attend is a pretty interesting demographic, where there are a whole lot of older white people (80+ years old) who are the original homeowner group, and then a smaller group of younger families that is more diverse.  Last year at our ward Christmas party the teenagers and some of the primary kids acted out the nativity story, and as I watched I realized that of the ten or so kids up there, there were only 2 who were white kids born in America.

Wonderful People:
I think this is something that can be said about most places, and I didn't see it as much at first because our neighbors tend to be a bit rougher around the edges, but as we've gotten to know them they are some of the most caring and giving people I've ever met.  It seems like people here just aren't as worried about what others think about them, but are very welcoming and quick to be kind.

Kate turns 4!

Kate had been looking forward to her birthday for quite a few months now, partly because she understands the age upgrade thing now, and partly because she had her heart set on having a pinata at her birthday party.  We were more than happy to make her pinata dream come true.  Seriously, that was her only request for her birthday.  And it was so fun!  The kids helped fill the pinata (with leftover Halloween candy:) ), and then when Grandpa and Grandma came over to celebrate with us Kerry hung it up in our carport.  Kate got the first turn with it, then the boys each got a turn before it got destroyed.  The kids had a blast.  This was definitely a tradition where the boys didn't ask any clarifying questions about why we were doing this.  As we were telling them about it earlier in the day, their reactions were more of "This is the best idea EVER!"

Best Day of Yeb's Life: permission and encouragement to hit something

After the pinata, we went in and Kate opened her presents, and then we sang happy birthday, Kate blew out the long awaited four candles, and we ate cake and ice cream.  The frosting on the cake might have been radioactive judging by its color, but when purple is the favorite color of the birthday girl, that's what you end up with.  It was really cute, though. :)

There must be something magical about being four years old, because Kate has some newfound confidence in her abilities to do things.  The next day at the park, Kate declared that she could go across the monkey bars all by herself "because I'm four now."  Sure enough, she just went right across.

The Pinata Afterparty

Time for Hair

Everything in our life was affected when they boys came home 7 months ago, including the time needed for Kate's hair.  We adapted by getting some girl time in at bedtime so I could detangle and style her hair while Kerry put the boys to bed, and then as our schedule normalized a bit hair time happened in the evening after her weekly hair wash.  Styling her hair is something that I love to do, and we've gotten to the point in our family where there is space for things:  emotional space for everyone to relax just a bit, and more space in our schedule that used to be completely taken up with simply meeting basic needs.  So I've been putting a little of that time toward her hair routine, and trying out some new and more complicated styles.

I decided I wanted to try yarn twists, and Kate was all about the idea when I showed her a picture of the style that had some colored yarn.  What little girl doesn't want pink woven into their hair?

Detangling after showertime

It was pretty time intensive, partially because I was doing it for the first time, but it turned out really well.  We'll see how long we get out of this style.  I'm hoping for 3 weeks.

All Finished!  She is thrilled with it!