Feeling Out of Sorts

It seems like it's getting harder to wait for the boys to come home.  There are still so many things that I would like or need to get done before we travel again (super childproofing, buy a dresser, make more Ethiopian food to freeze, buy a few more last minute things), but I keep feeling like I need to just relax while I have the chance, so I waste time, procrastinate, and get sidetracked by other projects.   Pretty sure it's just me playing the avoidance game so I don't have to think as much about the fact that they're not here yet.   I've even started occasionally napping in the afternoons.  Kate must be going through a growth spurt, because she's eating huge amounts (for her) and all of a sudden needing a nap every other day.  So I'll lay down on the couch with her and we'll zonk out for a bit.  I feel a little guilty about it since I have so many other things I want to do, but I tell myself that this probably won't be an option for at least a long time.  

A huge downside to all this waiting is that it gives us plenty of time to psyche ourselves out about everything.  Are we prepared enough?  What if we've overlooked something major on our to-do list?  Am I emotionally ready?  Is Kate really going to be ok with all the change that our family will go through very soon?  Are we just seriously insane?!?  Of course, the ultimate endpoint of all these questions is that yes, we will be ok, and yes, this is what we are supposed to do.  I can't imagine doing this without a spiritual confirmation that we're doing the right thing, and that those two cute boys are supposed to be OUR boys.  But that same confirmation contributes to the sadness that our boys aren't here.  And I want them to be.  

The Sunday school lesson yesterday was on prayer, and how prayer isn't about changing God's mind, but working toward being able to say "Thy will be done", and really meaning it.  Which sounds so easy, but right now is a lot harder to put into practice.  

Looking on the bright side, we got the boys birth certificates a few weeks ago, and we're praying that their cases get submitted to embassy this Wednesday.  So if you could say a prayer for us, too, we'd sure appreciate it.

Timeline Tweaks

This is what happens when it's too cold to ride her bike outside.
Also notice the awesome forehead bandaid she rocked for 2 days on
an invisible owie.

Ok, here's our timeline update: a couple weeks to three months.  Sad, I know.  I called the agency this week and had a good chat with the program coordinator (who has been fantastic), and she explained that there are 2 things that have slowed the process.  The first one is that the Ethiopian government processed things really slowly during December and January.  The second is that all adoption agencies working in Ethiopia are required to renew their licenses with the government there.  Apparently during the time where the government agency that oversees all this is going over all the documentation and other whatever that they do, the adoption agencies are allowed to continue processing adoptions as usual.  The snag is that the government hasn't been issuing birth certificates as quickly as they do when the agency is officially relicensed.  And that is exactly where our boys cases are at.  The agency staff have been busy getting all the other necessary documents and paperwork done so that once the birth certificates are issued, the boys cases can be sent right to the embassy.

As frustrating as this delay is, we have been able to see some silver linings.  The first is that in the next couple months we might be able to financially pull this off without any adoption debt whatsoever.  That would be amazing.  The financial blessings that we've had through this process have been miraculous.  Seriously, it's a good thing that the Lord doesn't show us the whole picture all at once, because I would probably have been more than overwhelmed at the price tag that comes with international adoption.

 The next is that if we have to delay having the boys come home, it also delays them having to deal with as much of a Utah winter as possible.  The idea of being able to wrap up in our little house for a month or so, and then have the possibility of starting to go outside, to the park, and working in the garden, is really a happy one.  I dreaded having them go from spending a lot of time each day outside in 70 degree year round weather to months of winter and almost no outside time.  So that's a definite upside.

The more flippant upside is that it will give me more time to become more proficient at cooking good Ethiopian food. :)  So far I feel like I'm doing pretty well.  Our freezer now has freezer bags full of Ethiopian lentils, vegetable stew, and injera.  I feel like I'm starting to master the art of cooking injera, and am now just in a waiting game with the injera "start" (it's like sourdough) to see if the flavor gets a little bolder as I continue to use it or whether I need to go back to the African market and beg them to sell me a start.  I've been making an Ethiopian dinner every couple weeks or so, and we're all getting more accustomed to the flavors.  Even Kate is starting to eat some without too much prodding.  She especially likes helping make the injera.

Anyway, we really are feeling blessed, even if things haven't happened in the time frame we were hoping for.