Feeling Out of Sorts

It seems like it's getting harder to wait for the boys to come home.  There are still so many things that I would like or need to get done before we travel again (super childproofing, buy a dresser, make more Ethiopian food to freeze, buy a few more last minute things), but I keep feeling like I need to just relax while I have the chance, so I waste time, procrastinate, and get sidetracked by other projects.   Pretty sure it's just me playing the avoidance game so I don't have to think as much about the fact that they're not here yet.   I've even started occasionally napping in the afternoons.  Kate must be going through a growth spurt, because she's eating huge amounts (for her) and all of a sudden needing a nap every other day.  So I'll lay down on the couch with her and we'll zonk out for a bit.  I feel a little guilty about it since I have so many other things I want to do, but I tell myself that this probably won't be an option for at least a long time.  

A huge downside to all this waiting is that it gives us plenty of time to psyche ourselves out about everything.  Are we prepared enough?  What if we've overlooked something major on our to-do list?  Am I emotionally ready?  Is Kate really going to be ok with all the change that our family will go through very soon?  Are we just seriously insane?!?  Of course, the ultimate endpoint of all these questions is that yes, we will be ok, and yes, this is what we are supposed to do.  I can't imagine doing this without a spiritual confirmation that we're doing the right thing, and that those two cute boys are supposed to be OUR boys.  But that same confirmation contributes to the sadness that our boys aren't here.  And I want them to be.  

The Sunday school lesson yesterday was on prayer, and how prayer isn't about changing God's mind, but working toward being able to say "Thy will be done", and really meaning it.  Which sounds so easy, but right now is a lot harder to put into practice.  

Looking on the bright side, we got the boys birth certificates a few weeks ago, and we're praying that their cases get submitted to embassy this Wednesday.  So if you could say a prayer for us, too, we'd sure appreciate it.